Friday, June 24, 2011

Sucker the boss (bastion of servile serpents)

Chapter I
Hell sounds real

Everyone in this world would have had to report to someone at some point of time. Doesn’t that mean everyone was bossed at least once? Who are these bosses  anyway? What is their ulterior motive apart from taking us for a ride?

If we were to classify all the bosses in the world, they would all fit into two categories – one who knows everything & one who knows nothing. The irony is, the one who knows it all acts na├»ve (to catch you off guard), while the latter acts like a know it all (to silence you). Yet, what’s common between these two is that, ultimately they will prove us wrong – ‘you don’t know anything’. There is an old saying that, people who have the last word is considered won. Guess that’s why they don’t let us have our say. But wait, that’s so old like them! People who have the last laugh are the winners now; & laugh we do! Remember the last time you couldn’t contain your giggle which inadvertently came out while your boss with his constipated serious look was trying to explain a funny theory of his? Work life sure does throw up such gems in compensation for the solitary confinement.

During these kind of serious one to one conversations, which eventually becomes a speech by the boss, a lot of phrases thrown all-over snarls at you; all with the same remark – ‘to say this you are not needed at all’. How much ever frustrating that might be, I channel my thoughts to think about what they really need. After much deliberation, I realized what they were expecting from us all along. If you could brush through your memory, you could hear some wonderful piece of advises from your boss –
‘you shouldn’t mind burning the night oil!’,
‘why are you so impulsive? Plan everything clearly’,
‘you are all spineless – be bold will ya!’

‘Burning the night oil’, ‘be impulsive’, ‘spineless’ - Cockroach! Yes Cockroach! They want us to be cockroaches. After all, they survived the big meteorite which extinguished dinosaurs from the face of the earth. With such repertoire to their credit, they certainly  fit the bill of heeding to paradoxical statements like, ‘why didn't you just follow my instructions? Use your head!’ – Dear boss, we did use our head; that’s why. The funny fact though is that cockroaches can stay alive for many a days without their head. The next time you see a cockroach in your unclean toilet of your unclean bachelors’ apartment; tell them – ‘caught in the wrong job? Meet my boss’. 


  1. That was funny!!! I could relate most of it... nice one :) :)

  2. Ahaan... wonder what made you write this ;)


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