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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Meeting Nayanthara: through the eyes of a pervert

Everything needs to have a start; unless you believe in the system called God. This story (the author of this article believes this has 1) also has one, but apparently I forgot the beginning. So let’s cut short to the time I got the call. Like any other day, I was doing what my colleagues call “working dedicatedly”. Well I was kinda “involved” weighing the viabilities of few options I had come up with earlier to install new robots in my line. The phone buzzed at that time;
The voice said, “Am I speaking to Mr. Harish? Am calling from Sify.com …”
“Okay? Harish here”
“Its my pleasure to inform you that you have won *$&#*%…”
Hey Harish I have a doubt in your Verna proposal … oh sorry” – my colleague as always without you know what.
“I will get back with you in a moment: on a call!” I stressed
“Sorry for the distraction …”
“Its ok Harish, can you make it to the Sify office at 10:30am 18th this Thursday? I hope you come sharp: Nayanthara can’t wait for you right?”
“Yah okay …” I smirked which kinda passed off as a laugh I guess.

On the eventful day, I asked a friend the shortest route to Tidel Park; he told me to board M70 which will take me there in just 1 hour! I was like is this the age of dry comedy?? Anyways using my 4yrs of conditioned brain deduced I should start by 9:30; but then I figured I don’t need Engineering for this too. I checked the time was 9am then.

Let me tell you about a small conversation (figuratively with no intentional pun – ppl am not referring to my friend’s height here ok?) I had with a friend of mine who was telling about how girls go about the “getting ready” ritual before meeting some1 ;). With this in my mind and urgency in action, I peered into my wardrobe and after finalizing my dress checked out the time to be 9:45. So I rushed to the bus stop where a bus was leaving; got in, in a run and sat. I sat and sat and after like half n hour of listening to Rahman I looked out to find I was only at a place which is just 15 mins farther by walk from the place I got in. After the traffic got cleared I or to be more precise; the bus zoomed to the destination. It was 11:20am and I had received 2 phone calls by then, pleading that I come sooner. I was like ha ha so she is waiting for me … lol. But I did have a slight jitter that what if she leaves?

Coming back to the story (see, he still feels there is one), I ran to the escalator only to find that it doesn’t lead me to the desired floor. So came down and took the lift. I reached the reception and was told to wait till the guy who had been contacting me comes. I was wondering whether Sify was an all out media concern or it had some ancillary business too. From the crowd inside I figured the backend is huge; and so were the ladies!

The guy came to the reception and took me inside. My eyes rested on girls scattered over the area trying to see if anyone had striking looks; none. He walked with me to a cabin at the end of the corridor. As he opened the door, a room which was filled with a lot of people bustling with different activities came to my view. It took me no time to realise that all the activities were focused on one person. There were two still photographers flooding the room with flashes and a video camera person waiting for his turn. What seemed like technical people were working on something at the corner, while two ladies were doing something with a laptop. Nayanthara was at the epicenter of all these activities discussing with those ladies. Having liked what I saw from behind I eagerly moved forward to a seat that was drawn out for me in front of her. One eye on the path ahead and one on her I moved inch by inch inching closer to get a closer look. I was now able to see a long drawn out nose protruding from what should be a face. Without losing hope I moved further to the seat and sat. I slowly looked at the face that was stationed in front of me. She looked like the fair version of this!

Okay I am not exaggerating here. Straightened hair done in a style; the only style she knows. The eyebrows looked like the moustache of Vadivelu in Vaseegara; and the face! OMG it was a mix of pink, white, yellow coloring which I hope looks okay in camera. Not to strain my eyes further I looked down a bit (not that area!) and her hands caught my attention. Did she wax her hand or applied a layer of wax over her hand?? I could see reflections through the non-stop flash lights there. Is this her way of lighting up the room?

I decided to concentrate on things more attractive; like say a dust bin that was lying on the corner? Jokes apart, a guy next to me was constantly trying to speak something to me. So I turned to his side and said: “hi”
“Hi am $(&@%R (like I care who u are!) … We are the winners of this contest I guess. So what do you do? I work at %#%(%*&; what is your name?”
“Am Harish working in Hyundai.”
“Are you in production?”
“No; I am in a department which handles new projects and all the improvement activities of the company.”
“Okay … my company is a dealer to your vendor companies.”

I was like oh great!!! I gave a smile and turned towards Nayanthara itself. She was busy answering questions that were being asked online. It seems since I was late they preponed the online chat session. It should have been a chat session but she was just monitoring the answers while those two ladies were the one involved in the chat process. Someone had apparently asked a funny question I guess for the three ladies started laughing hard; and then it happened! Nayanthara opened her mouth and laughed! Her 32 sharp teeth that could bite vampire’s ass off came in plain view scaring me to hell. I remember having a sudden shiver down the spine on seeing it. Thankfully there were far interesting things to notice in the room; like how the photographers were using their tools (no double meaning here too!); how the staff of sify were trying to get into the cabin to have a peek at the actress, etc. And there was this guy who I mentioned earlier. He kept asking me; does my French beard look good? Does my shirt look presentable? And so on.

Finally the chat session came to an end and customary personal photos were taken of the staff with the actress. I should confess bad face or not she has a sculptured structure (liposuction or not); she looked like an erected rod (no double meaning here too) fixed with 2 footballs. She would have looked like a darling had even an ounce of flesh from THE area been diverted to her cheeks; too much exercise or sign of aging? The guy next to me couldn’t hide his perverseness and with half swallowed words mixed with chuckles told me hope we too would get to take such close pictures with her. Okay Mr. Despo!



Anyways we were called one by one to get our “goodies” from her. When my turn came I went ahead; we shook hand: wow what soft hands! And top it, it was very cool. It was like she hand kept her hand in freezer. Her smile has this attractiveness which I noticed then only standing close to her. Maybe that’s what make these actors sell (not in literal sense; oh well they do too right?). Coming back; she gave me a gift box (which I found later to contain Ferrero Rocher) & rose and we posed for few shots. Immediately after that the staff in their dignified way shooed us away. As we were going to move from the place; what the photographers had been trying to capture; what the staff had been peeping at; what we as an audience expect from a heroine (not an actress or a female protagonist); the twin moons came in display, but I regretted immediately for they looked old sans make up. Nayanthara should apply better make up to her assets I think. After that I came out of the cabin into the real world and realized all the girls in the office looked like an angel.

Having wasted whole afternoon to realize Chennai girls do look great, I set forward to my home from Tidel Park when the guy I met in Sify followed me. It seems his home is in Nungambakkam! Damn; the whole journey with him was beyond words for me and full of words from his side. He was asking me how to save the webpage when our pictures come online; he wanted me to inform him when they come online and what not. As I was feeling relieved when Nungambakkam was coming to view from the train, he gave the final blow; he will contact me next week it seems so that we can finalize on the date we could go for Vinnaithandi Varuvaya! OMG!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Sensationalizing the trivialities!


Let’s leave aside the fact that Shahrukh made a statement only after the IPL – Pakistani players issue went out of hand. Late or not, he didn’t say anything that needs to be censored or not allowed to be spoken in this democratic country. Could it be because SRK spoke in English rather than Marathi that the Shiv Sena happily misinterpreted? Questions does rise that it was just a political / business move, but that doesn’t deter the fact that a person can’t speak his mind and walk away easily in this country. Wish these people protest for more pressing issues.

Monday, February 1, 2010

2 Grammies


It’s not like Oscars isn’t a great achievement, but Grammies; who would have thought of that? Okay, am kidding we all were waiting for the nominations to be announced so that we can say “Jai ho” with the same energy as Sukwinder Singh if not chant like A.R.Rahman. Like Jamal Malik rising from shit to get the coveted thing, the album crossing all the criticism has achieved like everything now. What is it about the album anyway? Is it shear marketing tactic that spells success; the money that the studio has that makes sure every judge acquainted with any award to know all the positives that is to know of the film?

Allegations apart it is the appreciation for the man at the helm, his learning, his immense exposure, his grasp and what not. It is not like this album was envisaged and created in a span of 2 months. It takes a person who got the A,B,C,Ds correct to create things in celerity. The vision didn’t start 2 months before the album was created, but way behind in time. It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t he created an exquisite library for cues (to be used as layers in his songs) the largest in Asia, so that now when he needed to do a quickie he only needs to search his Apple. It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Sivamani been with him right from the beginning creating background templates for THE SOUND (O ... Saya) he wanted so that his engineers could work on it. It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Shankar and Mani encouraged him to create the unique sound for their “Chiku bukku” and “thaaya thaaya” respectively. It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Illayaraaja created a strom; a riot with his bgm raising the standards for the same. It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Vanessa Mae collaborated with him for Raaga’s dance helping him to create an effervescent "escape" music. It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Subash Ghai wasn’t at the epitome of perversion (choli ke peche) back then. It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Balanchander roped his find to set tunes, for the "dancing" legs, for the former’s century. It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Barathiraaja pushed the envelope; the capabilities of this maestro to think simple (Dreams on fire). It wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Mudalvan been about a media person who may not become a "millionaire" but surely the CM. It wouldn’t have been possible had he listened to people and stopped using Blaze (gangster blues). And finally for the song that surprising will become the song of the century (jai ho); it wouldn’t have been possible hadn’t Sukwinder injected the flavour of Punjabi music into Rahman’s blood; it wouldn’t have been possible had “paisa” experiment in Guru worked well; it wouldn’t have been possible had we rejected every time Rahman breaks into a chant calling the almighty with what ever the lyrics be.

Like the dutiful invoking of God through “O… Saya”; the Messiah of Music called the “Musical thunder” because of his music which is quiet a “riot”; who swept us with the “mausam…” and “…escaped” to various “themes” through his songs that “rings” in our ears making us “dance”; though becoming a “millionaire” thanks to his love for “blue” and jazz; and yet not losing the “fire…” in his “…dreams”; he sings “Jai ho” bringing laurels to one and all.

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